For as long as I can remember I have been seeking to marry Heaven and Earth within me.
When I was seven years old my family departed from Cuba to the USA on a boat. This journey changed the course of my life forever. I believe my families leap of faith into the unknown came not just from a desire to be free, but from a knowing deep within their hearts that we deserved so much more.
The risk we took cost my parents their careers and the ability to return to their home country. We began from zero.
Impermanence became normal for me as my family moved almost every year, causing my sister and I to attend various schools growing up. We always had all we needed, but it pained me to see my parents constantly living in fear, worried about money, and reacting to life out of their unresolved trauma and pain. I learned what alcoholism, depression, bankruptcy, and illness looked like early on, but I also learned what detachment, courage, and incredible resilience felt like too.
When I was thirteen I became a vegetarian after seeing video's of animals in slaughterhouses terrorized and physically feeling their fear and suffering. I call this time of life my first spiritual awakening. I became interested in personal development, philosophy and buddhism and all through high school found myself experimenting with and reading about different spiritual and philosophical views.
Sadly, I went to college and forgot who I was again. I began looking outside of myself for love, belonging, and security. I was either eating poorly or dieting, drinking, partying, and in horrible relationships with men. I was also successfully masking it all up with a 24/7 smile, make-up, nice clothes, and a hyper focus on my physical appearance. After enough suffering, at age twenty three, I burst under the pressure, and had what I call my second awakening when a deep desire for peace and healing brought me to meditation.
I free dove into meditation for months. This simple and profound practice transformed my entire reality. I traveled to India for the first time were I completed my first ten day silent meditation retreat; but it was not until I returned to the USA, after college, that I would meet my spiritual teacher in NYC. This fateful meeting with Amma Sri Karunamayi five years ago, much like my families journey from Cuba, changed the course of my life forever once again.
After seeing so much suffering in the world and within me, I was easily captivated by "spiritual life" and the misconception that to fully awaken I needed to devote myself to spiritual life and divorce from worldly things. I wanted to find real peace, lasting realization, and to no longer be thrown around in the ups and downs of life.
After a few years of life as a devotee and spiritual seeker it became very apparent to me that what was required to awaken once and for all - was nowhere outside of me or up there somewhere in the "Spiritual World" or "5D". It was clear I needed to take an exit from the spiritual bypass freeway and face my life in a more real and honest way. I saw that what I have been seeking would not be found in any book, it was not in the mouth of any preacher, it would not be found in anything outside of myself and it was not in the hands of anyone else but me. I saw that I needed to dedicate myself sincerely and to take full responsibility not only for my spiritual progress, but also my material and worldly responsibility and contribution as well.
I got to a point were I had my shit together spiritually, but in the worldly world I was totally confused. I needed to face my debts and loans, my money mindset, my relationships with men, my relationships with my family members, the beliefs I absorbed from my upbringing about what I deserved and didn't, and so much more. I needed to stop and ask myself what is it that I truly love and want to contribute in this life? After years of living nomadically and traveling to India whenever I got a chance to, what I really needed to do next was get really REAL with myself to truly progress any further into the life I wanted to live and the contribution I wanted to make.
We are required to be fully human in order to remember our spiritual nature. This requires not running away from any aspect of our messy human life. It requires taking full responsibility as the creators of our life for every area of our life and diving in - our finances, relationships, health, and our impact on our beautiful Earth home is fully in our hands and it is not anyone else's job to sort out for us.
It is truly the perfect time to claim our personal power as the creators we are. We are creating our lives and our world with every thought, emotion, and action.
I have come a long way, and I know you have too; and here is the great thing- we are all constantly evolving and growing on this incredible journey! There is no end. Let's be kinder to ourselves, let's care more about how we feel and stop beating up on ourselves. Let's let others off the hook too, and realize that no matter what others think, say, or do, at any given moment we have the power to choose to remember what we really want, how worthy we are, and direct our thoughts there.
I am still on my journey of remembrance. I am still learning how to let in all the blessings that life has for me. I am still learning to trust and surrender. I am still healing and forgiving the past. I am still making mistakes. This is the spiritual journey of the soul in a human experience. It is such a blessing.
Life gets even more beautiful when we begin to contribute, create, and serve. Sharing my journey, and using all the tools and opportunities I have been gifted I get to help others access the abundance, peace, wellbeing and health that is their birthright. If you resonate with my story and feel called to tap into all the incredible blessings and opportunities that are waiting for you - I am here for you.
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With love, I wish you an infinite amount of Blessings dear One! - Rocio Reyes